If You’re Not Whiplashed You’re Not Paying Attention (Which Would Have Been a...
NEW YORK—It’s a rare thing in the business of 24-hour political pontificating, but every so often the relentless onslaught of inane prattle issuing forth from somewhere in the vicinity of that...
View ArticleMitt Romney Believes in an American America Full of American Americans
NEW YORK—It really is a sick, masochistic thing we do, waking up every morning and watching “Morning Jo(k)e.” The only way we endure is to make a game of it: how long will we make it today before Joe...
View ArticleHappy Mitt Romney Tax Return Day!
NEW YORK—Hello! Are you all gathered inside a quiet room? Yes? Good, because now we can all finally discuss the subject of Mitt Romney’s tax returns. Which are amazing!! And sure, yes, we admit we’re...
View ArticleNewt Gingrich Pledges Moon Base to Aid Interplanetary Tourism Sector
NEW YORK—So here is a thing that happened: Newt Gingrich said four preposterous things yesterday in the span of a single sentence. Let’s parse it! “By the end of my second term, we will have the first...
View ArticleConservatives Dumb, Says Science
NEW YORK—Hey look! It’s that time of year again, and the semi-annual release of some or another study claiming that conservatives are stupid has finally landed on liberal doorsteps across America....
View ArticleThe War Against the Machines Unfolding in Iraqi Airspace
NEW YORK—We left you on Friday with some rather unsettling developments in the coming War Against the Machines, and we’re afraid to report there’s more bad news on that front today: the US military...
View Article12 Things Gifzette Will Miss About the 2012 GOP Primary
12) That time Michele Bachmann compared herself to a serial killer. 11) Stress-eating at the mere sight of Chuck Todd’s facial hair. 10) Donald Trump’s very good relationship with “the blacks.” 9) Jon...
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